XXX-Madden gag spoils kid's Xmas
by James Ransom-Wiley 
{ Dec 31st 2006 at 2:25PM }
On Christmas morning, little Kolton Mahoney tore away the wrapping paper on Uncle Dan's gift, ecstatic to find a copy of Madden 07. But it wasn't the familiar "It's in the game" mantra that greeted Kolton upon loading the game into the tray of his Xbox 360. Instead, an explicit image danced before his naked eyes.Confused, distraught, and perhaps overwhelmingly excited, Kolton ran to mommy and daddy, who quickly passed the concern over to the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. "It wasn't a pretty scene," recounted Kolton's father.
So far, the task force has been unable to track down the culprit of this cruel gag. The soiled Madden was apparently purchased by Uncle Dan on Dec. 2 from Circuit City. The disc is embossed with an official label and came factory-sealed in a standard game case.
[Thanks, Chronos_777]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Rhine @ Dec 31st 2006 2:31PM
How's this cruel. How could he not enjoy it?
Dave Silva @ Dec 31st 2006 3:05PM
Spoils?
Dude, I'd be happy if I got the movie. It's a lot more fun than Madden. :P
Andre Deminiac @ Dec 31st 2006 2:35PM
Wow. When other kids his age would've hidden it under their matress, he runs to his parents....
bigd7387 @ Dec 31st 2006 3:52PM
The only thing worse would be actually getting a copy of Madden 07'.
Orin Smith @ Jan 5th 2007 7:57PM
I bought tons of games as a kid and didn't find porn in any of them!
It's actually kind of funny that this story even exists, because 90% of other kids would just slip it under their bed and this type of thing would go unreported.
Kind of makes you wonder....
Deanerama @ Jan 2nd 2007 1:39PM
Niiiiiccccce...
Sockninja @ Dec 31st 2006 2:40PM
Methinks he doth protest too much...
Earl @ Dec 31st 2006 2:43PM
I am sure he will have "nightmares" *wink wink* for a while because of this.
It's funny that someone with access to the real XBox discs thought of this though. I wonder how many more are out there.
Jim @ Dec 31st 2006 8:38PM
Put the whole thing up on an online auction site, make a lot of $$$.
Nothing to see here.
Shadow @ Dec 31st 2006 2:49PM
Wow, I feel like I'm in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Quick, everyone run out and pick up massive ammounts of Madden looking for the elusive disc!
This world is getting worse and worse. If I were his age I would have kept it. The only thing that will save this kid's shame right now is if it was gay porn or something. Otherwise he's ranked up there with the kid who slept with his teacher and told on her.
hehehhehe @ Dec 31st 2006 2:49PM
Hahaha good one uncle Dan!
GalileoAce @ Jan 1st 2007 1:08AM
You know some people find porn disgusting and disturbing.
justin @ Dec 31st 2006 2:58PM
So you would be happy to spend 60$ on this. It seems everyone has a uncle that comes up with stuff like this.
Blink @ Jan 9th 2007 9:51PM
Does no one else see this as the uncle trying to give the kid a "gift"??? ;)
Really, perverse as it may sound, I think it's a possibility we shouldn't leave out. How old was this "kid" anyways?
Bruce Deschacht @ Dec 31st 2006 3:02PM
So what? Was this a porno DVD in a madden box, or a madden game with porn hidden on it or something?
Capt. Castellanos @ Dec 31st 2006 4:00PM
to #8
The soiled Madden was apparently purchased by Uncle Dan on Dec. 2 from Circuit City. The disc is embossed with an official label and came factory-sealed in a standard game case.
it was a madden box with a madden game with porn somehow fit into it.
i must say thats its pretty interesting how someone can do that.
but its also pretty sick too.
Seminator @ Dec 31st 2006 9:05PM
Ah come on...there is no way this is true.
I'm sure his dad's a Windows Media Connect expert and linked his collection to every TV in the house.
The Great Boozini @ Dec 31st 2006 4:14PM
Riiiight. Let me paint you a picture...
Prob the kid cooked up the story to explain why there was a porn DVD in the 360. Teens with porn? No way!
Smells fishy to me. New in box with seals? Bought at Circuit City? I could buy maybe EB or Gamestop- where it was a used copy that was re-shrinkwrapped, but CC is what causes me to be suspect.
stewis @ Dec 31st 2006 3:48PM
i suspect his parents walked in on him and he looked round and said... "it was in the game that you bought me. i was waiting for it to load... honest"
Number One @ Dec 31st 2006 3:19PM
Hahahah thats one hell of an acheivement. I remember when I was younger there was a NES game in a 100 games-in-one cartridge that had you playing strip poker with a cow-girl... good times, good times....
Ryan @ Dec 31st 2006 4:44PM
"Wow. When other kids his age would've hidden it under their matress, he runs to his parents...."
Let's see, Madden costs $60, porn can be found by anyone with an internet connection with little effort for free.
He's a kid that knows his fiscal options.
mkoracer @ Dec 31st 2006 4:14PM
The original article seems to be missing the scoop. This sounds like a regular porn DVD that was stamped with the Madden disc graphics and packaged. I would bet that it was somebody at the DVD producing/packaging facility that laid down one of their porn DVDs on the assembly line with the other burnt but not labeled Madden DVDs, maybe they have such tight restrictions on the number of copies that when dude wanted a copy of Madden off the assembly line he had to replace it with another CD so the count wasn't off.
Jedijoe9 @ Dec 31st 2006 3:47PM
thats what you get for playing Madden, apparently.
Defenestrator2.0 @ Dec 31st 2006 3:48PM
Damn spoiled kids these days. You hand the world to them, and what happens?
Anonymousaurus @ Dec 31st 2006 3:33PM
-typical Uncle Dan.
-hes always up to something on christmas.
Sam @ Dec 31st 2006 3:38PM
Lucky!
Draco @ Dec 31st 2006 7:10PM
bah!Porn is free on the internet, if I spent $70CDN plus tax (13% here) on a game and it was filled with garbage (internet porn is probably better) then I would be quite upset as well.
luckily I don't play madden. or spend 70+$ CDN on games. but still, its not exactly something to get excited about, now if there was an extra disk crammed in there, with porn on it, I would be quite pleased :D.
ben @ Dec 31st 2006 3:55PM
And people accuse EA of not innovating. :P
Scott Krueger @ Dec 31st 2006 4:10PM
In Protest they should go out and Buy NFL2K7.
That will show EA...
Oh yeah...
There is no NFL2K7.
There will be no NFL2K8
There will be no NFL2K9
There will be no NFL2K10
There will be no NFL2K11
I think there will be no NFL2K12.
Jay @ Dec 31st 2006 10:41PM
"We'll give it a shot. I would go through the roof if this happened to my kid. Whoever did this is a complete and utter coward." So whats your kid gonna do when he sees his first REAL pair of tits, go running to mommy and daddy again. Also im sorry but a naked woman dancing is hardly hardcore porno, you see worse in The Sun on Page 3.
William @ Dec 31st 2006 4:17PM
EA's only innovative and successful idea in decades!
Instead of the same crappy games with updated rosters and new WEATHER MODES OMFGZZZ L33TSZ.
EA now has MADDEN PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alas, imagine the look one a little one's face when he finds out he only got the regular Madden... That pos...Eveerrrybody else got the porno edition!
As many said before,
16. The only thing worse would be actually getting a copy of Madden 07'.
Posted at 2:35PM on Dec 31st 2006 by bigd7387 0 stars
Well said. EA should be shut down. They've ruined all sports games and they need to pay for their sins.
alex Erde @ Dec 31st 2006 4:18PM
' "This is definitely not Madden," he said recalling his first thought after seeing the image. '
Best line of the article. Because I usually think to myself when watching porn, "Nope, this is not Madden, this is not a 80 yeard old or something football announcer, those are definetly lesbians... yeah definetly lesbians."
Kenny @ Dec 31st 2006 4:19PM
Seeing as it was most likely put on there by a worker from EA, I'd be willing to bet it's something in the same vein as goatse, and that's why everyone freaked.
tcc3 @ Dec 31st 2006 4:30PM
Maybe it was *Madden Porn*
I'd be horrifed too.
LordMinogue @ Dec 31st 2006 4:31PM
mkoracer probably has it right assuming the DVDs are not labled before they are burnt. However, a smarter thief would have replaced the DVD with a blank disk. The blank disk would have been returned by the parents without an issue.
DeejayKnight @ Dec 31st 2006 4:35PM
I wonder who actually did the disc swap. You never know, it could've been the uncle or any other number of disgruntled workers at either EA or Circuit City.
' "This is definitely not Madden," he said recalling his first thought after seeing the image. '
Best. Quote. Ever.
otakucode @ Dec 31st 2006 5:11PM
The most likely culprit is a mixup at the DVD fabrication factory. I just wonder, could they be liable for the whole "distributing porn to a kid" charges? Who would you nail? An individual that works there?
jlbachs @ Jan 1st 2007 12:00AM
Are you sure this didn't happenon a PS3?
CHUDGOO @ Dec 31st 2006 5:13PM
"The game appears to be authentic, is embossed with a Madden NFL 07 label and came in a factory-sealed case, Linda Mahoney said."
So it would appear that this was a mistake at the DVD pressing plant.
The number of labels on one batch of discs didn't match the number of discs...
Why is absolutely necessary to find out if "charges of providing pornography to a child can be filed" and make sure that "Somebody should be held accountable."?!?
Why are these people so litigious and thin skinned?
Surely the -14 year old boy- will recover soon...and likely go on his own hunt for porn. (oh, but who will he blame when he's caught with it)
LDS @ Dec 31st 2006 5:15PM
From the article:
"The Mahoneys have been in contact with the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force sponsored by the Utah Attorney General's Office"
explains why he ran to his parents he's from Utah... as those crazy lds.
CHUDGOO @ Dec 31st 2006 5:28PM
Kenny...
You think that a worker at EA is responsible? Are you serious?
We're not talking Hot Coffee here, this was a disc with the wrong label and packaging.
How would only ONE disc come out of the press with porn on it?
Do you understand the processes involved here?
gok @ Jan 1st 2007 6:51AM
Pr0n can be found anywhere for free, madden for xbox360 cant. You are stupid if you would've kept that disk.
diskoboy @ Dec 31st 2006 5:50PM
This is all total bullshit.
So it took a week for this story to get out? Riiiiiiiight.
Not only do I question this kids' story, I question his sexuality, as well. If he took it straight to his parents...
But here's how the story probably REALLY wen't down - the kid hid it under his matteress for a week. He breaks it out to slap his monkey, his mom or dad walks in, he's caught (literally) red-handed. End of story.
Kincyr @ Dec 31st 2006 5:59PM
I don't see how this is an "Internet Crime" as the Internet had nothing to do with this.
Dave @ Dec 31st 2006 8:39PM
I just hope this doesn't cause some sort of huge backlash against video games. "Parents! Watch out, as the innocent video games your kids are playing this holiday season are really a clever coverup of an underground PORN INDUSTRY! More on News 10 at 10!" ::rolls eyes::
Jonah Falcon @ Dec 31st 2006 6:21PM
The article neglects to mention it was just a copy of Dead of Alive Xtreme 2.
NotAnElitistPrick @ Dec 31st 2006 6:41PM
Maybe the kid wasn't into the type of stuff that was on the DVD? Maybe he was from Texas, and it was only Black and Hispanic chicks? Or maybe it was gay porn.
Anyway, the Big Box stores are ridiculously easy to do this to. A friend of mine back when I was in college (before we started putting 20 in front of the year.) bought a copy of Comman & Conquer...only to find it was a label someone printed over a applications CD for some art college.
Thief keeps the game, gets his money back, and if he paid in cash, he's in the clear.
Gamegirl @ Dec 31st 2006 6:55PM
EA gives you Madden football and you complain. They give you porn and you still complain!? There is something wrong with this picture.
Tadashi @ Dec 31st 2006 7:10PM
@20
Mass-produced discs aren't burnt, they are pressed. Imagine how long it would take to burn 100,000 discs. Burning also would lead to more errors and a higher energy consume.
I wonder how long it took until he ran to mommy.
Pabjvar @ Jan 1st 2007 12:36AM
This are the funniest news... the kid that finds porn on any videogame or console... this are my favorite... I hope it happens to me.. that way i could sue... or have some free goodies... what a cheap bastard I am.. but the law is on my side...